Mayor of Bayswater's Daughter

Note: This is the so-called "dirty" version. Consider yourself warned. (Oh, and it scans badly too.)

The mayor of Bayswater
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dicky-di-do
Hang down to her knees.

CHORUS:  
And the hairs, and the hairs,
And the hairs, and the hairs,
And the hairs on her dicky-di-do,
Hang down to her knees,
One black one, one white one,
And one with a little shite on,*
And the hairs of her dicky-di-do,
Hang down to her knees.

*Variations for this chorus line
And one forty pound strength one
And one I caught a trout on
And one I found on a bar of soap
And one that blocked the storm drain
And one she used as dental floss
And one she uses for macrame
And one dripping in olive oil
And one that smelt of clitty litter
And one to start the lawn mower with
And one covered in algae
And one I found in my mug of beer
And one the crabs are stuck on
etc...

If she were my daughter,
I'd have them cut shorter,
And the hairs etc.

I've smelt it, I've felt it,
It's just like a piece of velvet,
And the hairs etc.

I've seen it, I've seen it,
I've lain right in between it,
And the hairs etc.

I could not believe my eyes,
When I peed between her thighs,
And the hairs etc.

She came from Glamorgan,
With a cunt like a barrel organ,
And the hairs etc.

She slept with a demon,
Who washed her with semen,
And the hairs etc.

She lived on a mountain,
And fucked like a bloody fountain,
And the hairs etc.

She stayed on a cattle ranch,
And came like a bloody avalanche,
And the hairs etc.

She says she is not a whore,
But she bangs like a shit-house door,
And the hairs etc.

She lived on a malted milkshake,
And rooted like a bloody rattlesnake,
And the hairs etc.

She married an Italian,
With balls like a fucking stallion,
And the hairs etc.

She divorced the Italian,
And married a stallion,
And the hairs etc.

It was always hit-or-miss,
Whether I could find her clitoris,
And the hairs etc.

Her cat s name was Boris,
And it played with her clitoris,
And the hairs etc.

She went to Arabia,
And got camel drool on her labia,
And the hairs etc.

She stayed in Seattle,
And went down on cattle,
And the hairs etc.

She married a Spaniard,
With a prick like a bloody lanyard,
And the hairs etc.

She went with a Hash House Harrier,
Who fucked her but wouldn't marry her,
And the hairs etc.

I've stroked them, I've poked them,
I've even rolled them up and smoked them,
And the hairs etc.

You need a coal miner,
To find her vagina,
And the hairs etc.

She sits on the waterfront,
With the waves lapping up and down her cunt,
And the hairs etc.

I've licked it, I've kissed it,
It tastes like a chocolate biscuit,
And the hairs etc.

You can drive a mini minor,
Right up her vagina,
And the hairs etc.

The light is so glitorous,
When it shines off her clitoris,
And the hairs etc.

Her vagina was squishy,
And smelled a bit fishy,
And the hairs etc.